In hindsight I can see that one of my greatest friends had the same reaction when he received his call, eight months ago. He seemed calm, nonchalant, and ultimately uninterested. Which puzzled me at the time, I just assumed he was trying to be cool under the pressure. But now I know why he acted in such a strange manner, it was the same reason I stayed at work longer than I needed, and then took my time returning home.
More often than not, too much of a good thing, is rather bad for you. Too much anticipation, I realized, can lead to revulsion or a blatant rejection of the anticipated. I thought myself to be embarrassingly excited, until I knew that the next two years were waiting for me on the counter. Then I had no hurry, there was no rush to see my future set. My life had just settled into a strange and awkward waiting stage, and I had just got comfortable there.
Now as everyone stood around, and I opened the rather large envelope, there was strange and distracting comments about the relation to the mission you've been called to, and the postage on the envelope--or sudden inspiration found within my family to speak out the scariest, most dangerous missions, claiming them to be my future home for two years.
The call was opened, and rather than read sentence by sentence (for I am not a man to be surprised) I skimmed the first paragraph until I read "Canada, Montreal Mission" Now a switch within was flipped that cannot be reversed. I found myself to be filled with instant and unanimous concurrence, it seemed so completely obvious that Canada is where I am meant to serve, that all my past experiences and testimony has been tailor made and fully customized to optimize the Lord's work in our neighboring country northward.
I exclaimed my destination, and skimmed through the rest of the page. I was happy. My brother seemed a little disappointed, asking "so...english speaking, huh?" I didn't care, I was too busy happily plowing through the exciting and interesting paperwork included in the envelope. After a moment, My older brother and my girlfriend pulled my call letter aside and took a closer look. Then, simultaneously, the both turned to me and cried out "Tanner, you're speaking French!"
I froze. Thinking it was some strange joke, I reread the first paragraph. I assumed that such an important piece of information would be in the first paragraph, and no where else. But assuredly, at the end of the second paragraph read the statement "You will prepare to teach the gospel in the French language."
I was most joyous. Having thought for a solid 3 minutes that I was not going to be learning a foreign language had not had the slightest effect on my positive excitement for my mission, to learn that I would have the opportunity to teach the gospel in another language was an overwhelming addition.
I leave on July, 28th. Now that it has truly sunk in, however, I find myself walking the fine line between unbridled eagerness and true, deep horror. I have never been on a mission before, as you can assume, and have no idea as to how it will play out. Am I frightened? Or Excited? To be honest, depends on the day. Let's just hope July 28th is an exciting day.
